Without realizing it, even the most “outdoorsy” of us can have an ego-centric dimension to our relationship with nature.
Nature needs the rain, wind and clouds to fulfill her needs and nourish all living things. But if the weather doesn’t comply, we express disappointment and disgust at our plans being ruined. We complain about storms keeping us from the summit, bugs driving us from the park and weeds taking over our yards. So we pull, spray and pray for the environment to conform to our needs.
The truth is, it’s a conditional relationship of convenience and expectation that no human connection could ever survive.
There is only one way I have been able to try to face, heal and shift away from this toxic dynamic. I had to lay down under the clouds, close my eyes and locate myself as a child in nature.
I had to go back to a time when I didn’t perceive myself as separate from the wild. Back before the spell of the self cast a long shadow over one of the most fundamental and nurturing relationships of my life – my bond with Mother Nature.
So I went out and found my three-year-old self sitting in a field of bluebonnets, turning over stones. Together she and I tasted the earth, sang to scorpions, balanced barefoot in the riverbed and followed a red-tailed hawk until it arched just out of sight. Together we shook water from the willows, filled our pockets with dandelions and dreamt our way back home.
After realizing myself in her image and spirit, my time with nature started to feel well, a lot like love. All that joy, energy and radical acceptance formed the foundation for all my nature connection and understanding to follow.
This reunion also continues to encourage me to invite that joy and unconditional love into every other aspect of my life.
So go. Go out and walk with yourself as child. Walk together towards the open field, heart in heart, hoping for rain.
Your Woman Gone Wild,
Nicolette
PS. I would love to hear about a special memory you have of being a child in nature. Please do share in the comments below!
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Hi…
One beautiful childhood memory I have was exploring at the creek near home with my sister. We were about 6 and 7. Walking along the creek we heard a noise which made us stop and to our amazement there was a Blue Kingfisher sitting there on a branch in search of food. I’ll never forget it. The sun shining on his blue feathers was breathtaking.
Wonderful read. One of my favorite memories is making many pretend fires with my brother just into the forest away from our parents while camping.
I had amazing adventures growing up in Aotearoa. We lived on a farm I used to walk out the back to the native bush, I’d play in the creek catch fish n eels and release them. I’d use the red clay to make animals and lie in the bush listening and being one with nature it was amazing. I now try to pass this on to my children and trust that they can calculate the risks n dangers themselves. I was 7 years old, but I do find it hard trusting my now 7 yr old to be alone with out supervison.
I remember being about 11 and riding my bike to Tookany park with a 2 liter bottle of orange soda in the wire basket. It was there I found the tiniest kitten. I carried him home in my arms and called him “Creek”
What a lovely post. I’m new to your site and am thoroughly drinking it in. My favorite memory is a period after a hurricane that left a wooded area of my neighborhood full of water. A large tree with low hanging branches was near the edge of this area and provided me many many hours of imagining myself as “Jana of the Jungle” (I’m an 80’s kid). Such a wonderful time in my childhood 🙂